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Ask Yvette

Dear Yvette:

First, we are concerned about our 12 _ year old Ben as we would like to integrate a new puppy into our home and in home daycare. For Ben's sake, we want the integration to go smoothly. Ahhh, for the eternal fountain of youth! Ben is still healthy but aging. Second, we want a dog that can offer some protection because the area we live in is changing. But with a daycare in the home, we need a stable and safe puppy. Most parents are rightfully leery of animals around the children. Of course, we would not be leaving a dog unsupervised around the children at any time.

Michele

In my experience, families that have brought a puppy into the home with an aging dog, or immediately following the loss of a companion do not seem to do well. There are exceptions, but not too many.

Often people are concerned about the welfare of the older animal, and they should be. Change is difficult for most animals, and this seems even more for older pets. It is not uncommon for situations to arise where the younger dog begins to attack the senior. At this point, many people call someone like myself about the behaviour of the younger dog, when the concern lies in the health of the senior. Regardless of the cause, these dynamics are difficult for any family. They can bring a string of charged emotions and ill feelings towards the young dog.

When the senior dog passes before the puppy comes home, I often see the family comparing the puppy to the former dog. The puppy is more hyper than the former dog. The puppy needs more attention than the former dog. Absolutely. Because the puppy is not the former dog, and the puppy is young. Emotions run deep, and it simply isn't possible to re-create the former dog.

According to Derek Scott, a therapist that specializes in pet loss, “Attempts to ‘replace' what is lost can be misdirected at the new dog who then gets labeled as bad or wrong…simply because they cannot be the old pal who has moved on.” I contacted Derek about your question and his immediate advice was to get the whole family together and talk how each member is doing regarding the potential loss of Ben. Ask questions such as, “What are the feelings? What has Ben meant to everyone over the years? How will everyone respond to the demands of a healthy, lively new puppy? Does life without Ben feel like a dreadful void down the road that people are trying to avoid? Because nobody wants to grieve, yet it is an unavoidable part of living and loving.”

If so, taking the time to work through the grief, and the anticipatory loss is what you need to do. For some people, the loss of a companion animal can be unbearable, and in that case I would highly recommend contacting someone like Derek at www.petloss.ca, especially where children are involved.

Next week: Part two. Children, puppies and daycare.

Yvette is an award winning pet writer and pet behavior columnist. She also is the author of Meeting Milo, a North American dog bite prevention program to reduce the approximately 2 million children bit by dogs annually. She is the owner of AwesomeDogs.ca and works as a behavior consultant in London, Ontario.

This column was originally featured in The Londoner
See more of Yvette... www.awesomedogs.ca
www.meetingmilo.com

Yvette has 2 dogs of her own, KIKI and KAYA. Take a look...

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